Dunlap: James Harrison Issue Much More Complex
This isn't black and white.
Too many people are making it out that way; too many people are drawing a clear and distinct line and jumping onto one side or the other.
Steelers linebacker James Harrison --- never one to mince words --- has created quite a buzz with a recent Instagram post about how he will give back "participation trophies" his two young boys received for partaking in the "Best of the Batch Next Level Athletics" program.
That's James Harrison.
Those are his kids, it's his choice, it's his house.
He can do what he wishes.
In large part, I tend to agree with James Harrison that this group of kids growing up has undergone a large wussification.
But the problem here, to me at least, is that far too many people --- especially the "YOU TELL 'EM, JAMES!!" crowd --- thinks there's a one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to participation trophies.
I'm here to tell you there isn't.
Just because James Harrison doesn't want them in his house doesn't make him any better or worse father than anyone who does want their kids to receive them --- and that seems lost in all this.
My wife and I have 4-year-old, boy/girl twins who are just now embarking in the world of youth sports.
The best way to describe my daughter athletically is that she has the mentality of Ronda Rousey mixed with some Mia Hamm and a bit of Suzie McConnell-Serio sprinkled in. She's tough as can be --- sometimes too rough and tough --- and when she plays sports, enough is never enough. If we play 10 minutes, she wants to play 30; if we play 20, she wants to play 50. She normally throws a tiny bit of a tantrum when her sports activity is over, wanting to stay and play for eternity.
Never in her life, I'm guessing, will my daughter need, want or fully appreciate any sort of "participation trophy."
My son seems to be another story.
When he plays soccer, he readily kicks the ball in the goal and can breeze past his contemporaries --- I mean the kid can run like hell.
When he plays baseball, he can easily hit liners back at me --- I mean real-life, back-at-you comebackers.
But just as soon as he's into it, he's out of it. My son marches to a different beat.
Often he grows bored with sports or, simply, doesn't want to play at all. He'd most of the time rather set up a make-believe construction area in our mulch beds, having his mini excavator (his name is "Ernie the Excavator") scoop mulch with the help of some toy Bobcat vehicles ("Biff" and "Billy" if you're keeping score) and eventually have the mulch find it's way to "Dumpy the Dump Truck."
That's how it goes down in the front of our home.
Sometimes for hours.
What am I getting at here? It could be that participation trophy or medal that serves as a dangling carrot for my son to keep him involved in sports, or that tangible piece of hardware that makes him go back each time for every practice and game, even though I know what he's really getting is teamwork, camaraderie and the lessons learned while functioning within a team unit to achieve a common goal.
So that's why I think Harrison, albeit his heart might be in the right place, is a tad off when he writes, within his Instagram post: "cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy."
You see, James, not every kid has a dad in the National Football League --- a real-life football hero under their very own roof.
You see, James, not every kid really even "wants" that medal or needs it to function within a team --- I can see both ends of the spectrum under my roof.
You see James, you are making a huge assumption that some kid "cried" or "whined" until someone gave them that participation trophy.
Some kids --- such as my son --- just might feel a little better about himself when he looks at that participation trophy, he just might see it as a symbol of doing his best. I'm realistic about such things, James, as my son most likely won't grow up to be some brilliant sports star, but if a small token from the league makes him smile and think about the friends he made and the great time he had, I'm OK with it.
In my house, James, doing your best is good enough.
And in my house, James, my kids can get a participation trophy yet still be driven to want to accomplish plenty more.
I'll make sure of it.
Colin Dunlap is a featured columnist at CBSPittsburgh.com. He can also be heard weekdays from 5:40 a.m. to 10 a.m. on Sports Radio 93-7 "The Fan." You can e-mail him at colin.dunlap@cbsradio.com. Check out his bio here.
