TALE OF THE TAPE

One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

Nate Burleson's Pizza
DiGiorno
natecredit1.jpg
digiornocredit1.jpg
Delivery?
Winner Probably not. Unless he was the one delivering it. In which case, his agent’s gotta get him a new contract.
Not...sure. If only there was some resource to tell us whether or not DiGiorno was delivered or not.
Level of Risk?
One would assume “low”, but, well, here we are.
Winner Low.
Worst Risk of Injury?
Winner Burned tongue; crippling diarrhea
An arm shattered in two places, apparently.
Ready for action after consumption?
November, best case scenario
Winner The next day, unless he went heavy on the red pepper flakes.
Conspiracy Theory Moment?
Winner MAYbe...he got the pizza from an establishment owned by a Packers fan!
Winner MAYbe...it actually IS delivery! Wait, who cares?
Worth crashing a car over?
Winner Depends. Was it meat lovers?
Heavens, I can’t imagine.

The Winner Is

natecredit1.jpg
Winner Nate Burleson's Pizza
4 out of 6

With a score of 4-3, Nate Burleson’s fracture pizza somehow takes the edge! Looks like you party people had better stick to Elio’s.

-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Photo by Jarrett Baker/Getty Images) (Photo by Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Top Playoff Performers

    In honor of the beginning of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Starkey and Mueller drafted the top playoff performers across all sports.

  2. (Photo Credit: Justin K. Aller/Getty Images) Tiger Woods hits a shot during a practice round
    Tale Of The Tape: Top Changes To Make In Professional Sports

    Following a conversation about new MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred saying he’d like to do away with defensive shifts, Starkey and Mueller drafted the top changes they’d like to see be made to each professional sport.

  3. (Photo credit: Bertrand Langlois/AFP/Getty Images) (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Biggest Hot Heads Since 1980

    Based on the Pens’ recent lashing out at officials, Starkey and Mueller drafted the biggest hot heads in sports since 1980.

See All Tales of the Tape