TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods

Ferris Bueller
Tiger Woods
ferris
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Start To The Day
Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.
Winner Back Massage followed by counting money.
Eating Out
Winner Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.
Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
Soaking in Culture
Winner Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade.
No chance of going to any public places.
Possible Third Wheel
Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.
Winner Lindsey Vonn
Getting Around Town
Winner Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.
Used Buick with a busted rear window.
Chances of Getting Caught
Winner Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.
Yeah – we won't go there.

The Winner Is

ferris
Winner Ferris Bueller
4 out of 6

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Photo by: Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images) (Photo By Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Best Passers In NBA & NHL History

    Starkey and Mueller drafted the best passers in NHL and NBA history. The sixth pick is the worst pass across all professional sports.

  2. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images) (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Best College Football Jerseys Of All-Time

    With Pitt unveiling their throwback jersey’s this week, Starkey and Mueller drafted the best jerseys in college football history.

  3. (Photo Credit: Tom Pidgeon/Stringer/Getty Images) (Photo Credit: Al Bello/Staff/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Worst Free Agent Contracts Of All-Time

    Starkey and Mueller drafted the worst free agent contracts of all-time across the major sports. As a special treat, the sixth pick had to be a bad Pittsburgh contract.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS Pittsburgh

Bringing You The Best in Sports Talk Radio
New Podcast Network

Listen Live