TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of Two Teams: The Fantasy Football Legend Vs. The Fantasy Football Basement Dweller

First Place Fantasy Team
Last Place Fantasy Team
St. Louis Rams v Dallas Cowboys
AFC Championship - Baltimore Ravens v New England Patriots
Team Name
The [r]Ed Hochuli Peppers (ECHP)
Joe Buck Yourself
#1 Draft Pick
DeMarco Murray
Tom Brady
DRAFT DAY PREDICTION
"I can see, in ten years, Coach Harbaugh and Alex Smith still working together like the old married couple they really are. He'll coach 5 rings out of him. Together forever."
"There's no way Arian Foster is playing this year. When you're that big, rehabbing a torn hamstring is like trying to turn a pile of pulled pork into a pig again."
OVERALL RECORD GOING INTO WEEK 14
10-2
2-10
SEASON HIGHLIGHT
Beating team "Your Mom" 144-28 because someone forgot to wake up before 10am PST to set their team thanks to a hangover.
Coming up with the idea to use Robert Griffin's head as the star of the family Christmas tree thereby referring to it for the season as "RG-Tree."
SEASON LOWLIGHT
Losing to "[team]" the same week the office floods from Hurricane Sandy. When it rains, it pours...into your basement and corporate server room.
Trading Tom Brady (based on the fact that he's an UGGS spokesperson and model) for "literally anyone," and playing Mark "Butt Tackle" Sanchez instead.
BEST SMACK TALK
"Seriously, John, if you don't pay the entry fee AND I beat you, I get your girlfriend. I already talked to her and she's fine and encouraging it."
"Me : You :: Best Thing Ever : Worst Thing Ever"
WEEKLY EXCUSE
"I'm not bragging, but obviously I could manage a real NFL team. I'm literally the most talented athlete I know and that's reinforced by my record. You can't argue with numbers."
"DeMarco Murray's foot is my Achilles heel. I knew I should've traded for the Muscle Hamster. How's someone supposed to count on Felix Jones?!"

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    Tale Of The Tape: Worst Free Agent Contracts Of All-Time

    Starkey and Mueller drafted the worst free agent contracts of all-time across the major sports. As a special treat, the sixth pick had to be a bad Pittsburgh contract.

  2. (Photo Credit: KDKA) (Photo by Scott Cunningham/NBAE via Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Best Head Coaches Of All-Time

    In honor of Pat Summit, Starkey and Mueller drafted the best head coaches across all-sports, all-time.

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    Tale Of The Tape: Best Moves By Penguins GM Jim Rutherford

    Starkey and Mueller drafted the top moves of the Rutherford era with the Pens. For the sixth pick, the duo picked Rutherford’s worst move.

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