By Christian S. Kohl
Fans come from far and wide to gather and tailgate for some of life’s most exciting events. What better way to savor the anticipation of a highly awaited game other than with sumptuous food, ample beverages, and great company? After all, tailgating as an idea is all about making things better. In this case, making the very best of times simply that much more unforgettable. Yet, I humbly propose the notion that tailgating actually makes everything better, so much so that it very well may redeem even the most unpleasant or generic of moments in life.
Everyone hates going to the Motor Vehicle Bureau. Takes all day, line feels like it stretches on to eternity, generally about eight ways unpleasant. Not if you’re all tailgating it, though. Think about it: you and a few buddies decide to all renew your license on the same day, and throw a party out in the parking lot. All you need is one guy to hold your place in line, and you can all switch out as burgers come off the grill, or if someone needs a refill. You can instantly turn one of the most irritating errands of life into a quality flag football game and a fantastic time.
Girlfriend wants you to come along while she shops for shoes? Let’s turn this into a group event instead. Ladies, you go hunt for bargains on slingback pumps, and we’ll be out here in the lot. We’ll even have dinner served and ready to go for you when you come back. This way, everybody wins, instead of one of us dying a painful death watching your purse outside the fitting rooms, a place where time stands still and all hope perished decades prior.
Tailgating, as all true die-hards know, is an event in its own right. The amount of preparation and attention to detail requires it be done right means you don’t just throw a few items in a cooler and head out. This is an outdoor banquet with a dress code of jeans and hoodies, something we can all appreciate. This is a feast for the senses and great times enjoyed by all. I mean to take nothing away from the joy of the game itself. I simply intend to demonstrate accurately the glorious value of the tailgate, even by itself.
Need some electronics repaired and they won’t be available until the end of the day? Give them your cell and not your home phone; you’re glad to wait. Every time you go the doctor’s office for a routine physical, the waiting room is jammed and it takes them forever to call your name. It’s the absolute worst. …or is it?
Go out there and give it a shot. I offer this as a personal challenge to all of you out there, even the most hardened of skeptics. Faced with an endless wait and potential hours of agonizing monotony, head out into what would otherwise be a bleak and dreary reality. I challenge you all to see if there is in fact a situation that some lawn chairs, quality music, coolers of the good stuff and endless sides of perfectly prepared beef can’t fully redeem. Make it fun, and most of all, make it count.
Christian S. Kohl is a writer and filmmaker based in New York City. Find out more about him at dailyspew.com