Take a number.
And wait your turn.
That’s the best advice I can give to Susan Campbell, who took her beef to the pages of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on Saturday about Penguins megastar Sidney Crosby being able to avoid the line at the Department of Motor Vehicles on Friday as he renewed his driver’s license.
You see, this power play (probably taking a little more than two minutes) went down inside the DMV office within the Duncan Manor Shopping Center in McCandless and has Campbell, and those of her ilk, all jammed up.
Again — and I can’t communicate this more plainly, lady — get over it.
In the Post-Gazette piece, Campbell’s strongest counterpoint to her inane argument comes from, well, her.
She states, “He should have to sit and wait with everyone else.”
The “he” is a reference to Crosby.
The point she obviously misses is that Crosby isn’t an “everyone else.”
Like it, hate it or somewhere in the middle about it, facts are facts — the youngest captain to win a Stanley Cup, record 200 points and force flocks of fans into a new building to watch him perform isn’t some every day, working Joe.
And guess what? Such status comes with perks.
Crosby didn’t conceive the advantages. No, he was carrying on in accordance with a DMV policy. Jan McKnight, a spokesperson for the DMV, confirmed to the Post-Gazette for their story that famous people — with a presence that might cause a commotion — can be thrust to the front of the line so as to avoid the hullabaloo.
Don’t like that someone gets privileged treatment?
Well, how about this in our great country — try elevating yourself to the point where you might receive it rather than bellyaching about those who have reached the status.
Such a concept seems so easy to me, makes a mountain of sense.
Apparently, however, this is also lost on complainy complainer Sherry Davis of West View who told the Post-Gazette, “He probably should have waited.”
Again, no he shouldn’t have.
And Davis — along with her partner in whine Campbell — are missing something chief in all of this. Crosby didn’t get to cut the line at the DMV because he has shown a pattern of not being able to conduct himself within the confines of good taste.
It is, actually, quite the opposite.
The celebrity-gawking public in this country has forced an atmosphere where a gentleman such as Crosby can’t sit patiently at a place such as the DMV without being mobbed by autograph requests.
And people who can’t respect his privacy.
And some teenaged girl screaming in his face and hyperventilating like those old clips you see of the Beatles walking off an airplane.
And some Yinzer who has to tell him how, “I seen you score three goals ah-genst da Caps when me an my mum was sittin’ up in 224 wit da tickets she got from her boss dahn Heinz.”
And some sneaky, wannabe paparazzo who zooms in — unbeknownst to Crosby — with his iPhone to snap a quick photo of the superstar then immediately posts it to Twitter.
And does a Snapchat with it.
And texts it to everyone.
Remember, all that happens while a guy such as Crosby is just going about his every day routine, getting something as innocuous done as a license renewal.
Sidney Crosby isn’t a regular guy because his world-class performance at his job merits that he isn’t. Quite simply, he’s one of the best few on the globe who does what he does.
However, don’t forget this much either — Sidney Crosby isn’t a regular person largely because many in the unwashed masses of the general public won’t let him be.
So, go ahead and cut in line all you want, Sid. Doesn’t bother me a damn a bit.
You earned it.
Colin Dunlap is a featured columnist at CBSPittsburgh.com. He can also be heard weeknights from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. on Sports Radio 93-7 “The Fan.” You can e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out his bio here.