TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Greatest ‘Doctors’ Of All-Time Draft

In their weekly draft of anything and everything in the world, Starkey and Mueller elected to draft the greatest “doctors” of all-time.

The draft consisted of any “doctor” in the history of time with the one exception  – each team had to have two sports-related doctors on it.

Here’s how the draft played out:

Joe Starkey's Picks
Chris Mueller's Picks
(Photo by Brian Drake/NBAE via Getty Images)
(Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)
(Photo by Brian Drake/NBAE via Getty Images)
(Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)
1st Round
Winner Dr. J (Julius Erving) - "The greatest sports doctor who ever lived. That has to be the first pick right? Is there a better doctor in sports history?"
Dr. Dre - “As cool as it gets. He’s worth more than everybody else on this list combined because of the sale of Beats. I want the guy that’s going to make sweet walk up music for all of my other doctors.”
2nd Round
Winner Dr. Seuss - "I may be picking the most famous doctor who ever lived - real, fictional, or otherwise. What a legendary pick."
Dock Ellis - "I was going for a little bit of an off the board doc because it’s 'dock.'”
3rd Round
Dr. Evil - "It’s a miracle that this guy is still on the board."
Winner Doc Emrick - "He’s calling the show. I’m absolutely slaughtering you right now."
4th Round
Dr. Jack Kevorkian - "In case things go horribly bad and we no longer want to go on, I’m going with Dr. Kevorkian."
Winner Doc Holliday - "If you’ve got an evil bad guy, you have to have a good guy to stop him. I’ve got just the guy. Give me specifically, Val Kilmer’s portrayal of Doc Holliday."
5th Round
Winner Dr. Dolittle - “I’m going to go with a man who talks to animals for God’s sake. This is the guy who can talk to referees or rogue fans like nobody else and that’s Dr. Dolittle.”
Dr. Freddie Fu - “I don’t want my guys to want things to end. I want them to get fixed up and back on the battlefield. I’m going a little off the board here. I’m not picking the famous one, I’m picking the better one. Give me Dr. Freddie Fu.”
6th Round
Doc Medich - “I need a sports guy here. I’ve made a horrible mistake. I’ve got nobody on my board! Dr. Phil was going to analyze my team! I guess I go with Doc Medich.”
Winner Doc Gooden - "Every team needs an absolute phenom at the end and I want Doc Gooden as my sixth man. "

We'll Just Call it a Tie

(Photo by Brian Drake/NBAE via Getty Images) (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)

The guys split the rounds 3-3 for a split decision. If we're forced to pick a winner, the overall edge goes to Mueller's squad. His picks were of consistent and solid quality top to bottom. Starkey started out strong, but the lack of depth and the Dr. Kevorkian pick ultimately cost him in this draft.

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