TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

College Station
Cleveland
Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
Miami Dolphins v Cleveland Browns
Weather Conditions
Winner Average Temp 69 degrees
Average Temp 49 degrees
Fan Base
Winner Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers.
Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
Support Team
Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers.
Winner Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
Nickname
Winner Home of the 12th Man
The Mistake On The Lake
Extracurricular Activities
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
Winner Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
Stadium Name
Winner Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending)
First Energy Stadium

The Winner Is

Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
Winner College Station
4 out of 6

This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Photo by Richard Wolowicz/Getty Images) (Photo by Jeff Curry/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Greatest Players Named ‘Matt’ In History

    In honor of Matt Murray’s huge playoff performances for the Pens, Starkey and Mueller drafted the greatest players named “Matt” in sports history.

  2. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images) (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Best ‘Almost Legendary’ Moments In Pittsburgh Sports

    Starkey and Mueller drafted the greatest/almost legendary moments in Pittsburgh sports history with a sixth pick of the best national moment.

  3. (L-R) Mikal Bridges #25 of the Villanova Wildcats, Jalen Brunson #1, Darryl Reynolds #45, and Josh Hart #3. (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) Kennedy Meeks #3, Justin Jackson #44, Marcus Paige #5, Joel Berry II #2 and Brice Johnson #11 of the North Carolina Tar Heels.  (credit: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
    NCAA Championship Tale: 2 Villanova vs. 1 North Carolina

    After all the hoopla and hype, the NCAA Tournament Championship Game has arrived, and both North Carolina and Villanova are very good, deserving teams.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS Pittsburgh

Bringing You The Best in Sports Talk Radio
New Podcast Network

Listen Live